When life knocks you down you have two choices


You as a beautiful female have two choices.  You can cry and stay down or get back up and fight like a girl. I have done both. I was adopted from an orphanage in Mexico. My siblings and I were placed since someone gave my twin gasoline in his bottle. We were brought to the United States before our first birthday to the great state of Texas.

Life was a typical middle class suburban upbringing until my parents got divorced. I was thrust into being a parent while my mother worked. Resentment for this new job duty led me to the first man who paid me some time attention. I was sixteen and first job I was a lifeguard on the local marine base. He was twenty five. Recipe for disaster from the start.

He was involved with our son but very abusive mentally and physically towards me. I worked multiple jobs and finished school on a hope on a prayer. I also spoke at Planned Parenthood events on how hard being a teenage motherhood was. I was blessed to have an anonymous angel call my school and say I think she will make it. She paid my daycare so I could go on to college. She only asked in return PAY IT FORWARD.

I went on to college and life settled down for my son and I. We finally were not struggling and living check to check. I was working as an RN and loving it. I had my own place. I thought I was dating a great guy. So I thought….

I got pregnant by Mr. so called great guy and all his secrets and lies came out. He was married. He had another child recent from my pregnancy and was not the so called family man he portrayed. I was going to school, working, pregnant and now a single mother a second time. My grandma used to say “You plan, God laughs.”

I was in a life changing car crash at thirty two weeks pregnant in 2006. It was bad. Ambulance bad and thankful I dropped my oldest off minutes earlier type of bad. This was July 2006. I walked around with a broken back and injuries since no doctor wanted to touch me while pregnant. I went for my o.b. check Aug 4. She said “there is something wrong with the baby. I am admitting you now.” Now??? “Ummm, no I have to go home I am not ready. He was due September 2nd. I called dad and he said he was coming. I was not going to do this alone.

I waited and waited. He never showed up. My twin brother came in and said its time. He went into the OR with me and Isiaah was born. He likes to say “mommy I was just sleeping.” I was now broken mentally and physically.

Mentally ,I was a walking zombie and a wreck. Two sons and no help.  Physically I was paralyzed with a broken back and multiple injuries from the crash. In ten years I have had 24 surgeries. Most of these was from the crash that changed my life. In 2009 I was diagnosed with a tumor on my liver. A wonderful (sarcastic tone) walked in and said “You are dying of liver cancer” and left. I went back to life waiting to die.

In 2012 I got really sick. In the ER thankfully Dr. Simsarian said “It is not cancer you have a parasite.” I was sent to the surgeon and he tried to aspirate it. Epic fail since it exploded and I was sent to infectious disease. He put me on a drug that calcified my liver. In 2013 ER again. this time surgeon says you need a liver resection. A liver is lymphatic tissue and regrows.

I woke up days later in the ICU on life support. Scary especially with a tube in your throat and IVS everywhere especially one in my neck. My amazing surgeon Dr Thang D Nguyen gave me the second lease on life. I was going to use and appreciate it.

He likes to say Scars tell stories. I embrace my scars and new body. Fighting like a girl got me through this thing called life so far. Strong women support and lift each other up. I am blessed to share my story in hopes it will touch at least one out there. A status  of being a single parent for the last twenty one years is overwhelmingly bitter sweet. My sons now 21 and 10 are a blessing. I do have those days I cry and when I am down eat some reese peanut butter cups. When I get back up I fight like a girl and stop to smell a beautiful rose.