There’s a void in my heart ever since I go totally deaf. I found it hard to move on and would cry a lot (more than now). I felt so empty and was accompanied by my tinnitus most times as sounds and voices I was used to slowly dissipate around me. I took years to come to terms to my loss and when I got to that stage, I keep trying to push on.
I still breakdown at times I feel it’s all too much to swallow or whenever I am feeling down but I try my best not to let it overcome me whole.
I started getting myself to read motivational books, both online and physical books. Most of them are of individuals with a heavier burden to carry or who have a much challenging life and disabilities. One of my favourites is Nick Vujicic. I slowly regain my courage and that’s when I developed resilience. It’s not a strong a resilience as many others but enough to get me back up from my wallowing mode.
It wasn’t until last year that I started to become more determined to carry on my life with things that bring out the best in me. I can’t deny that entering motherhood has also brought me out of the dark period and gave meaning to my life.
I fall, hard. But I finally found the reasons for me to get back up from it. There are more important things that need my attention, whether I’m deaf or not. My other limbs are still working, and I am still breathing. I can only look forward to joy and positivity to attain happiness. Resilience is the first step to take after you found your genuine love. Then, it’d be to persevere and to endure. Recover yourself, take control and keep going; you may fall again but don’t stop!