Motherhood (series)


SAHM with a Toddler

I had quit my job a month prior to my second surgery. It was one of the best decisions I made in life. My son was only 9 months then.

I went for surgery on 26th September and was hospitalized for almost 2 months; imagine being away from your family and child for that long. I was really blessed though because my family would visit me almost every single day. My evenings would be spent on waiting for their arrival.

When I was finally discharged, it’s back to Mommy duties! I couldn’t have been happier. But my increased complication puts a limit to what I can and cannot do. The first few months post-surgery, I felt like a zombie; I would feel lethargic all the time and spent most of the time sleeping.

As days go by, I regained my strength but it is not the same as before anymore. My balance would cause me to stagger while walking and since that can risk a fall, I’m not able to carry my child while walking. When he started to walk, he becomes more active and would be extra fidgety therefore, I can’t handle him on my own.

This year, he is officially a toddler. When my husband is not around to bring us out, most of the time, I would spend my time with my son at home. I wish I could bring him outdoors to play but it is a risky job and even my family won’t trust my ability to solely care for my son. I know they have my best interests at heart and don’t blame them for that as they have seen how vulnerable I can get.

Last September, almost a year post-surgery, I had seizures. It is a side-effect of the surgery but I wasn’t expecting it. Neither my family. When it happened, I wasn’t aware of it. I don’t even have any recollection of it. I was in and out of consciousness and can only recall being in an ambulance. When I came around, I was surprised that I was hospitalized and had sustained a few bruises and a mouth ulcer. Apparently, I had bitten the insides of my mouth. The bruises were so scary to look at; it’s as if I was beaten. 😰

After that episode, the more my family gets worried and wary of my ability to care for my son. Of course, I don’t blame them. Even I, can be doubtful about myself. However, I developed the mentality that I want and will do whatever that works for my son. To grab the opportunity to be involved in his upbringing as best as I can.

I switched my focus to be his teacher at home. I put my ability to speak and see to good use. I would read, sing and teach him words until he’s able to recognise and remember. Most days, he’d be very distracted by gadgets and videos but I try to see the positive side of this habit and allow him to watch educational ones. After all, he is going through phases and is at the stage where he can absorb and learn fast.

Toddler stage is very challenging and his tantrums can throw me off so much. I realized that I need to have a high level of patience handling one. I use my limited abilities to compensate my lackings. At least, I can be a part of his life journey. ☺️😘