Since my hearing loss, I always overthink the reactions someone might have towards my changed self. Thoughts like “I am making then feel bad because it’s difficult to include me,” and “They sure won’t like me around,” nagged at me. It was all in my mind because I became very self-conscious and I hate being the odd one.
I would always try to refrain from being around or if I have to be, I would shut off unless my attention is needed. It’s difficult to get myself absorbed in conversations therefore I can only imagine that it must be harder for the people around me to try and make me involved. I tried my best and did whatever I can.
I was miserable until I had my second surgery and answers upon answers presented themselves right before my eyes. I had people who left and those who stayed. I might not be an active participant in relationships that need constant connection to be uphold but there are those whom I didn’t really speak to, who came and supported me during my darkest times. Mostly is family. 🙂
Reality then hit me that I should just let go of things (people and relationships) that cannot be salvaged. I mulled over it but it got evident as days go by. It further affirmed me that my family and those who really cares are the ones I should appreciate, keep closer and focus on.
All the rest needed to be let go.
Not a simple task to do but if it’s clear as day that you’re being forsaken time and again, you don’t just stay stuck and repeat the same cycle; everybody will feel bad somehow. Let go the hurt and carry on.
Only then would it be easier to pay more attention to what needs to be done. To persevere and be steadfast in doing so.
In light of New Year, here’s to remind ourselves that there is wisdom behind all that happened, happens and is happening , therefore, let go of the things that no longer serve you well. Look forward to the better things that bring positivity ahead. 💚